


Library

by freeze_your_heart



Category: Girl Meets World
Genre: Angst, Best Friends, Canon Compliant, Emotional Hurt, F/F, F/M, Hurt No Comfort, I'm sorry Maya, Internalized Homophobia, Lesbian Maya Hart, Love Triangles, Not Beta Read, One-Sided Attraction, One-Sided Lucas Friar/Maya Hart, One-Sided Maya Hart/Riley Matthews, One-Sided Relationship, Pining, Rilaya, Song: Happier (Bastille), Songfic, This is kind of vent, Unrequited Love, Vignette, We Die Like Men, Yearning, but not really, comp het
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-08-07
Updated: 2020-08-07
Packaged: 2021-03-06 05:54:10
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 873
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25768492
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/freeze_your_heart/pseuds/freeze_your_heart
Summary: Unlike what most people think, Maya Hart’s favorite place with Lucas is not the campfire.It is the library. The library in which she watched her best friend’s face glow, the library in which she knew from that moment on Lucas would treat Riley just right.The campfire is full of impulsive decisions that didn’t mean anything. The campfire is the overwhelming sound of rushing thoughts in Maya’s head. The campfire is chock full of false statements she felt she was supposed to say.Because as much as Riley argued against her, she didn’t like Lucas like that.She wants to. It would be so much easier to fall in love with Lucas, a simple boy with simple intentions. He was so attainable, and Maya would not lie- he was quite attractive.But things aren’t so simple.Because Maya does love someone, and it isn’t Lucas.
Relationships: Lucas Friar/Maya Hart, Lucas Friar/Riley Matthews, Maya Hart/Riley Matthews
Comments: 3
Kudos: 42





	Library

Unlike what most people think, Maya Hart’s favorite place with Lucas is not the campfire. 

It is the library. The library in which she watched her best friend’s face glow, the library in which she knew from that moment on Lucas would treat RIley just right. 

The campfire is full of impulsive decisions that didn’t mean anything. The campfire is the overwhelming sound of rushing thoughts in Maya’s head. The campfire is chock full of false statements she felt she was supposed to say. 

Because as much as Riley argued against her, she didn’t like Lucas like that. 

She wants to. It would be so much easier to fall in love with Lucas, a simple boy with simple intentions. He was so attainable, and Maya would not lie- he was quite attractive. 

But things aren’t so simple. 

Because Maya does love someone, and it isn’t Lucas. 

The person Maya loves is sunshine peeking through a window on a quiet morning, the subtle sounds of the city outside. The person Maya loves is a brush painting violet, messy streaks of color onto a canvas. The person Maya loves is the silence of an ancient library, warmth spreading to one’s heart. 

She loves the person whose window she climbs through every morning, greeting her with a hand clasp and a pet name. She loves the nostalgic memories of looking back on who they were and who they are now. She loves the arguments the two had in the past, each doing nothing but gaining a better understanding of each other. She loves the person’s relentless dedication in everything she did. 

But there are words that neither of them could take back. Maya acts recklessly. She lies that she likes Lucas, maybe because she doesn’t like Riley and Lucas together, or maybe because she so desperately wished she really could just like Lucas. Either way, words are uttered, and Riley steps back.

But Maya knows the way the story ends, she is a lot of things, but stupid isn’t one of them. So she steps back, too, which she ruefully finds easier than it should have been. 

And Riley truly believes her through everything. She believes Maya’s lies about wanting Lucas. She believes Maya is emulating Riley because she wants to be like her. She believes Maya now likes Josh instead of Lucas. She believes that Maya is happy. She would never know the truth. 

Riley would never know the way Maya’s heart fluttered everytime the brunette was around, sending shivers down her back. Riley never knows the hurt that Maya had suffered each night, desperately praying that God would make her straight and love Lucas instead of Riley. Riley never knows the electricity that jolted Maya’s body whenever the two intertwined hands, and the staleness that accompanied it when she was around Lucas. 

Part of Maya wishes she stayed in the comfort of the triangle. That way, no one would get hurt. 

But sometimes, on those restless sleepover nights where Maya couldn’t sleep, she looks at the glow in the dark stars plastered on Riley’s ceiling, hearing the girl gently breathe. Maya looks over at Riley, goddess-like figure who normally looked so put together, with her bedhead and drool dripping out of the corner of her mouth. This image warms Maya’s heart, and the rest of her body from head to toe. 

And in that moment, she wants to lean over and kiss her forehead, change her mind about anything she previously thought about keeping in her feelings, because it doesn’t feel right keeping it all in. Riley deserves to know how happy she made Maya feel. Maya wants to make Riley just as happy, but… 

She knows the only way she can do that was by letting her have Lucas now. 

Riley loves Lucas. And Maya isn’t going to ruin that for her. 

Even if the mere thought of the two is eating her up inside, she’ll cry herself to sleep on those nights that she can’t spend with Riley. She desperately wishes she could tell her mother, but she doesn’t have that kind of relationship with her, and she hasn’t told anyone how she feels about girls. Well, one girl in particular. So Maya is forced to revel in her own thoughts of discomfort, praying for help to love someone, anyone but her. 

She can pretend. She can pretend that she’s looking forward to her someday with Josh, she can pretend that she’s secretly hurt inside because she still loves Lucas- all those are so much better than the truth. 

Because even if Maya may not like it, she wants RIley to be happy. 

And happiness is found for her in the small things, in the way Lucas locks his fingers with Riley’s, the smooth compliments that almost go over Riley’s head, the warmth of burying her head into a tall boyfriend’s chest, the fervent kisses that she tells Maya so eagerly about. 

But Maya can’t lie to herself anymore. She doesn’t know if she can keep doing it to Riley, either. 

So maybe she hates that damn library where Lucas showed that he was a good friend. 

And maybe she loves it, too. 

Because Riley is happy, and that’s all that matters. 

**Author's Note:**

> so, this is heavily inspired by the song happier by bastille, so yeah! check that song out, it's been stuck in my head recently. i haven't written a gmw fanfic in years, so i hope this isn't too ooc or bad.


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